Do It For The Plot

Unpopular opinion: I actually agreed with a decent amount of Kevin Samuels’ content. I can’t say what percentage of people this applies to, but the endless scroll of dating trends and debates on social media reveal that many men and women are attempting to date outside of their “bracket.” Whether that’s dating up or down, both seem to create serious problems. At times, dating feels like more of a competition- who can benefit the most from the relationship with the least amount of investment. Are people looking for love or just some symbolic trophy? 

The sheer amount of horror stories and relationship trauma people are racking up seems like a bottomless pit. I mean, I believe we’ve all contributed to the toxic patterns of modern dating at some point. Personally, I used to gravitate toward the “showy” guys… the ones who were always at the center of the crowd. Arrogant to some. Attractively confident to me. If a guy was overly infatuated with me quickly, I assumed he was too easy to impress and, therefore, of lesser value. In my mind, the value equaled the accessibility or lack there of. So yeah, I contributed to the “nice guys finish last” trend for a while. And to add extra destruction to the mix, I thrived in the “track star” role…staying just close enough but always out of reach, emotionally unavailable, and quick to cut things off at the slightest sign of imperfection.

Story time: I once talked to a guy that I had given the runaround for a while, showing a little interest, then taking it away. You know how that goes right? On one of the rare occasions I agreed to hang out, we were literally just chilling and watching TV. Out of nowhere, he completely blew up on me like Sam and Ronnie from Jersey Shore style. He rightfully asked if I even liked him and why I was hanging out with him, but went on to say I was basically heartless and had the emotions of a robot. I was SHOOK ok.

First, because no guy had ever argued with me or raised his voice at me like that. I was used to dating pretty prideful guys who would pretend to be unbothered to the death of them before they showed that level of emotion. Second, being called a robot caught me completely off guard. Guys, like the nonchalant girl that doesn’t trip off much right? Guess not. I left, and as I was getting in my car, he called me. I answered, thinking he was calling to apologize but nope. He doubled down. Another Uzi. I can laugh about it now, but at the time, I was genuinely upset. We weren’t that serious. Was he upset because he actually liked me or because I was winning at the whole who can care less competition we see so often? The reality. We were both terrible dating partners. I guess this story could be titled Pot Met Kettle… Then Boiled TF Over.

For a while, I believed dating was much harder for women than for men. Actually, I still stand by that. But after talking to some of my guy friends, I can admit that men run into struggles too. Yes, some of these challenges are self inflicted by both sides. A guy says he’s not looking for anything serious then the girl gets upsets when it’s 3 months later and things aren’t progressing. Or the girl showed zero interest from day one but the guy is taking that as she’s playing hard to get so he’s still talking to himself in her dms months- sometimes YEARS later. (Insider trading info- I’ve never seen a girl play super hard to get for someone they are really interested in. Idk how that became a thing because it’s literally not a real thing.) So what’s really happening out there? How are the decent, eligible men and women missing each other and ending up with people still stuck in their City Girl/Future dating eras?

Is it the whole opposites attract thing? Is it people failing to realize that their type is actually the problem (like the less mature version of me highlighted two paragraphs ago)? It seems like so many people are out here looking for love… yet completely missing the mark.

How can we fix it so the people that wanna play games play together and the ones ready for a real relationship find each other?

Remember some of the best stories are still unwritten so live boldly, embrace the unexpected, and make sure your life story is worth the MF plot!